Sunday, July 19, 2009

Oregon Missionary Converts The Heathen in Third World Redneck Country- Louisiana

I was looking for some more Louisiana Catholic blogs and came across that this Mormon Missionary blog of this cute (very cute-) girl that is sharing the "knowledge of the true gospel of Jesus Christ". (Note I don't think Mormons can "date" when they are on Mission so I guess the New Orleans young male Mormon population loses out. Oh well. On to the point

Her blog is Karli Riddle Meets Louisiana!!! . She is likely Mormon though I find her Birth control reference below sort of weird because they like big families. Of course those families are usually under a matrimonial regime. Here ?well depends :)

Now on a non religious note it appears she was near the city of Baton Rouge(Louisiana Residents down there I give you three guess where she might be :) ) Anyway she is near New Orleans now (and I can't wait to hear her observations from there) but she gives a a sort of blunt view at Observations from louisiana!!! Are we this bad? Are we sort of just around the abnormal for so long we don't realize it? I have always envisioned vast parts of Oregon (where she is from) to be sort of like Livingston Parish but with rain. Maybe not.

oh the things i have learned and noticed about the dirty south:

i1)ts perfectly acceptable to have a big, beautiful home in the upperclass areas and be out on your riding lawnmower cutting your grass shirtless, in shorts a little too short, sporting white rainboots, and wearing a silver chain around your neck. as my companion put it: "you can take the boy out of the country, but you cant take the country out of the boy"... yeah... that was a members house too :S... the wife was the member though, not the husband... (LOL that is true)

2) they start riding quads before they can walk. and everyone rides without helmets or shoes... and all over the rodes. they are everywhere. in one neighborhood i witness one little 3 or 4 year old boy riding his quad, while another little 3 or 4 year old boy, also bare foot ran up behind the quad and jumped on it as it was moving. yeah. they are crazy. (Is this strange?)

3) if you stick a fridge out of the side of the road that says "runs great, smells funny...free" someone WILL pick it up. (you will be getting a picture of that sometime)

4) the average household has 5 dogs. all of which are more stupid and annoying than barney and emma. yup, its that bad.

5) apparently they dont believe in getting animals fixed cause everyone has a pet thats pregnant...sick

6) they have snoballs instead of snowcones here... which is pretty much vanilla ice cream coated with shaved ice with the syrup on top... freaking delicious. i highly suggest opening up a stand in utah :)...

7) there are no hot dogs, hamburgers, or chips present at a bbq

8) any sort of subdivision is where "them rich folk" live

9) little kids play in sewage far too often

10) giving a dog a bath consists of throwing it on the porch and spraying it down with a hose... sick :S

11) i never hated dogs until i came on a mission

12) LA is the most illiterate state... fact.

13) LA also has the highest cancer rate. maybe because they all smoke 3 packs a day and spend hours upon end in the sun... maybe?

14) there is more road kill than i have ever seen in my life here

15) when someone says "sure you can come back another day" it really means "sure you can come back, and when you do i will pretend like im not here"

16) they talk funny

17) i, apparently talk "like a yankee"

18) no one knows where oregon is... and its really funny cause the ones that do wont say anything to my companion when she says shes from idaho, but as soon as i say im from oregon they go "oh my, you sure are a long ways from home arent ya?!"... even though oregon and idaho are right next to each other. haha.

19) everyone lives within a mile of 20 relatives.

20) i fear that half of the population is inbred :S... haha jk. kinda.

21) people actually put "private property...stay out" around their trailer. really?... necessary?!...

22) they also have their trailers protected with alarm systems

23) people will actually pay to have their trailer moved to a "better location"... "that trailer park across the riva is real nice..." hahah. jkjk. oh, i love the people here.

24) i have been humbled A LOT

25) we live in a big beautiful home, even though sometimes we dont think so because of what we left in oregon, but it really is SOOOO nice and big, and the Lord has really provided for us.

26)We are so lucky to be well educated. and able to read :P

27) i am so much more grateful for the knowledge of the true gospel of Jesus Christ

28) i think they missed the memo on birth control, and 16 is a totally acceptable age to be knocked up. (haha. i just couldnt end on a spiritual note :P)

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