My Papist Catholic Fantasy

Twenty-seven died today at a Vatican press conference when ferocious halberd-wielding Swiss Guards locked doors and carved a swathe of destruction through defenceless journalists. Secretary of State Tarciso Bertone declared that they had been executed as a threat to national security…
New York Times journalist Daniel J. Wakin was buried today, the fifth member of the Vatican press corps to be poisoned in cafes along the ironically-named Via della Conciliazione. Rome police are investigating rumours that a group of ferocious assassins called the Borgia Boys has been stalking critics of the pope…
Pupils in American Catholic grade schools are playing a web-based virtual reality game called The Press Be Damned, in which ferocious black-robed Vatican ninjas decapitate and eviscerate journalists and toss them into pits of boiling brimstone. The game has been developed to counter increasingly negative depictions of the pope in the media.

I need to go to confession!!! :)

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