Looking At Forgiveness Again

The Anchoress had a great post that tells a truth even the most committed Christian often runs from. Her post is the Does forgiving help us to keep going? The story she is referencing is going around. Crunchy Con added his two cents a few days ago on this at The amazing Mennonites. Again.

The Anchoress concludes her post:
I was at Adoration earlier today and wondering about saints and heroes, and whether it is “easier” sometimes to be a “hero” when things are clearly one or the other - good or bad, black or white - than when things are ambiguous and blurred as so much is, in our age. And I wondered too whether it’s easier to be merciful, when a hurt against you is huge and very, very clear, when it is a “hurt” that you know is going to be with you every day for the rest of your life…maybe when it’s that crystaline - so obvious that you don’t need Oprah or Dr. Phil to tell you you’ve been hurt - you have to forgive or you can’t move on, either. Maybe if you can’t forgive…you kill your own spirit.
I hope I never have to find that out for sure.

I think there is some truth in that. I recall a girl back in College that got raped. She did not forgive and lets face it many of us would not be brave enough to bring that up to someone in her position. However I am pretty convinced the lack of forgiveness is what caused her life to go to hell in a hand basket in part. That is a tough thing to say but the rage she felt I think killed her spirit in many ways.

The Anchoress is right though about the big things. I think one sees clearly the crossroads. I have seen this subject of Forgiveness talked about recently as to Americans and our enemies on some Catholic blogs. There is truth in that but I don't think that is a huge American problem as some might think. It seems we have for whatever reason in our American DNA a profound ability to forgive. This is brought home by my grandfather to me a great bit. A man that faced horrors I can not even imagine in the South Pacific and was one of the first troops to occupy Japan. His generation that had suffered so much were real quick to forgive the Axis nations and their people.

China? Well Nixon signs a treaty and all that stuff about Korea is almost forgotten. In fact it is a tad too forgotten since we don't recognize in this country those braves men and women's effort. We might be real quick to anger but it seems we do well on the quick forgiving part at least as a nation.

Americans are their best when they forgive each other. We have a good track record at that. The Japanese American that were rounded up in WWII forgave us and did not hold on to their rage. People forget but the Germans , Irish, and my gosh especially the Italians were victims of some of the worst hurts. It seems ancient history but the biggest mass lynching in the south was not against blacks but Italian immigrants. The infamous "N" word was used against them too back in the early decades of last century.The result of this forgiveness by those that were hurt was well liberation. Liberation in the spiritual, political, and yes even an economic sense .Jews, Asians , Cajuns, Indians have all lived this.

I suppose the jury is still out to some degree though on this sensitive subject but I do wonder when I hear the now famous Rev Wright if we have not quite rounded that corner as to a perhaps a size able minority of black Americans and the rest of American society and culture. I am sure people will object to that. However , I can't help but think in my heart that is a part of the problem.

Getting back to the subject of the individual and leaving all the societal stuff this is where I depart a tad with the Anchoress . However she very well might agree with me. I think there are many many moments in the everyday tragic events of life , that don't involve a drunk driver killing five of our kids for instance, that we know we are at a crossroads. A crossroads that involves a choice of forgiveness and not doing that we know could very well kill us as much as having our Children murdered and forgivng the person that caused it.

When we read our Bibles we sort of deceive ourselves. When I read the Psalms in the Liturgy of the Hours people are always talking about their "enemies". It is striking really how upset these folks are and how they demand justice. Like LORD STRIKE DOWN MY ENEMIES type thing.

I guess for some reason I always thought these people were talking about some oppressive Govts or Social structure when they said this. I think now perhaps we don't grasp that word. If you ask an average person do they have "enemies" they would say of course not. However, we do. It is the spouse that left us, it is the people that hurt us in relationships, the Parent that abused us etc etc.

Maybe it is just me but when my wife filed for Divorce there were amazing moments of "clarity" or perhaps Grace filled moments when God was telling me if I didn't forgive I will kill myself in the process. I have had other moments like that. Am I the only one?

Perhaps I am lucky. But in the privacy of a man soul that no sees but us and God , I have got to think this happens a good bit. We make that choice to live in our rage or anger. I was fortunate God gave me several opportunities or "crossroads" because I was not in a forgiving mood for a while. All of which was wracking devastation on me. When I ignored those calls well things did get ambiguous and blurred and confused.

Regardless, the lessons I take from the people that the Anchoress references is to see their example in my own life. It is a witness these people are giving and a witness that is no doubt prompted by the Holy Spirit.

I am blessed I am suppose that I am not "allergic" to the sacrament of confession. It is very hard for me, if I am going on a regular basis, not to forgive people when I just confessed the same ole sins against our Lord and yet he gives his Absolution so freely. But when I slip from taking advantage of that sacrament I note I become a lot less forgiving of people that trespass against me. I suppose there is a connecton.