Saying Goodbye for Now to My Grandfather

I thought I would do a post on how the funeral of my grandfather went. Again thanks everyone for the prayers. I intend to call up the Church and have some Masses scheduled for my grandfather.

I was very much more delayed than I wanted to be leaving town. So I missed the first visitation that night. Many of my cousins rolled into town around the same time between 10 and 11:00 pm. One of my cousins was rolling a little too fast.

Never hit Greenville Mississippi going 84 mph with out of state expired tags from Texas :). My poor cousin ,who was about a hour and half ahead of me on the same road, had half the Mississippi State police with drug dogs outside and inside his car and were convinced he was a drug runner. This lasted about a hour. Of course the police were in a tad of a bad mood after finding nothing. Until they confirmed there was a actual funeral he was going too they came very close to putting him in jail. In all likelihood my Cousin saved me a ticket because I was really starting to press the speed quite a bit when I crossed the Mississippi River bridge.

Still I love making that drive at night. The music on the radio still has a very Mississippi Delta style to it. From Southern Rock to blues to black gospel. There is something enjoyable to me listening to black gospel music or blues while traveling through that part of country at night. I loved to roll down the windows and smell the land when doing this too. Even at this stage of the year you can detect hints of the farm land coming back to life. There is a true earthiness and vitality as well as melancholy that has distinct feel in that part of the country.

I got to talk with my Uncle , who basically lives just down the road from my grandparents, the next morning before everyone woke up to find out what happen. It appears , while going to a funeral in Louisiana, my grandfather hit his head. The next day he did not feel well at all and the next he died. The theory is that perhaps he had some sort of blood clot because of the injury and then a stroke maybe.

I was very happy to see my grandfather from my dad's side and a Aunt and Uncle had made the trip over. I am sure that meant a lot to my grandmother.

I do wish the funeral had been delayed a day. I think it went too a little too fast and the family was still in a tad of shock. However planning these things are never easy. An my Uncle Mike did a very good job. My Uncle Jimmy had a huge 40 page bio printed up to distribute at the funeral home which was very nice. I intend to post that on a new blog and link it for people that might be doing research in the Shepherd family. There were so many things I forgot. Including all the adventures my grandfather had with flying and crashing planes. He had a habit of taking friends up and shooting deer from the airplane. One time this this not work at so well and they crashed into a sandbar on the river tearing off a wing. My grandfather's response to his shocked friend was to get out of the plane and shoot the deer. As I said earlier he had a zest of life.

One other tidbit among hundreds I forgot involved the house in Louisiana. My grandfather bought the farm land and the buildings on it. The House though was not always a house. It was a saloon called the Bloody Bucket!!! He of course remodeled the house and one could never tell it was a saloon. However it brought to mind a funny story. Despite being remodeled it appears that the place was still recognizable in way. A couple of times someone would come up late at night and still think it was a bar. My grandfather's response was to invite them in and make them a drink. AH so many stories.

My grandfather has a mischievous side. He was a huge hunter and had deer heads all over the place. Every Christmas he would put red tinfoil over one of the deer's nose. I am told that one of the black fieldhand's children that would come by were a tad horrified that he had killed Rudoph the red nosed Reindeer.

The Funeral home was right across from the Catholic Church. I was very lucky to be able to go talk to the priest and in fact go to confession before my grandfather's funeral. It did give me a sense of peace. I also learned that there must be another Sheperd that is Catholic I am not aware of. The priest told me earlier that morning one family member had come over that morning. Perhaps they were not Catholic but just wanted to pray in a Church.

The funeral home service was very nice. As I mentioned before my grandparents are Seventh Day Adventist. Also one Aunt and Uncle are also. I was curious how that would work out since most of the family is Baptist. A little bit before the service the preacher had gathered us in a room for us to share our thoughts with about my grandfather. My Uncle Nelson , who is a Baptist Deacon, was joking that God had him running something up there. The preacher gently reminded everyone that Adventist don't believe people are in heaven but are "asleep". I was very struck by my cousins. They were quite emotional. There is a nice age difference between most of them and me and they were very distraught. As mentioned correctly by the minister my Grandfather was one of the those very old folks where there was no generational gap.

The service was nice. The preacher gave almost a full sermon that went on a tad. I have only been one Adventist funeral and that was for my Great Grandmother when I was young.

The preacher at my grandfather's funeral really hit the "soul sleep" thing(pa pa is not in heaven but sleeping till Jesus comes) and the second coming thing (several times he made it fully clear that is more likely than not that many of us would not die but be around to see the second coming) but did it in a way that did not step too bad on the Baptist toes.

I think this was proper. Again I think his theology was off but it was a Adventist funeral. I surely did not expect him to talk about the intercession of the Saints :). Just wait for mine. It will be the Catechism and Catholic last things galore hopefully.

I think funerals are great places for a "short" refresher course on the last things. I did laugh though. My Aunt from my fathers's side brought my grandfather from my fathers side over. She is a religious kind of Charismatic folks. She wasted no time in telling my mother after the funeral that her daddy was not "asleep" but in Heaven right now. Which of course my mother agrees. This actually became a topic through out the day here and there. I pretty much kept my Catholic opinions to about Purgatory and praying for Pa Pa to myself.

We then made the long drive to Canton Mississppi for the burial. It was a pleasant drive through the heart of the Mississipi delta. Indianolia, Yazoo City etc. Canton is a old Mississppi town just north of Jackson. If you have ever saw the Movie Time to Kill based on on the John Grisham book the courthouse that is used is theone in Canton.

I have never been out to the Shepherd plots in the Canton Cemetery. When one of my other great grandmother died ,I never recall us going out to the grave. She was cremated and I think my Grandfather and other immediate family went to that grave side service. Anyway I was very taken by the spot. It is right by the confederate section. This area is filled with graves from Confederate soliders that died in Canton. There were no major battles in the area but Canton was the location of a major hosptial during the civil war. Most of the dead were wounded in the battle of Cornith Mississippi and of the very bloody Battle of Shiloh, also known as the Battle of Pittsburg Landing.

It struck me if for some reason the Adventist are right and we are all wrong my Grandfather will be the first to tell them the unhappy news that the South Lost :)

The preacher announced that that this part of the service would be short. To which my Great Aunt (My grandfather younger 83 year old sister) loudly said a big "Thank You". At times I very much envy the old that have the dispensation to say things in public like that.

My Aunt Evelyn is much like my grandfather and has a huge zest of life also. However I hate to say it but the preacher fibbed a tad. It must have been the longest graveside service I have been too in my life. My grandfather had a miitary honor guard at the graveside. One of the army guys was standing at attention just 3 feet in front of me. He was not in a great spot for standing at perfect attention. I started to wonder what he was thinking about this and wondered how long he would be able to hold out. Mercifully he did.

My father of course has very strong opinions on these matters. He is not a big fan of family prayers before dinner that become an opportunity for the family amateur preacher to do his stuff. He told me after that as much as the preacher wanted too he was not going to convert a bunch of Baptists to Adventism at a grave site on a Wednesday afternoon.

I am a tad more more lax as I mentioned on this subject. I also think that the Adventist aspect was very comforting to my grandmother and Aunt and Uncle. I think he did a very fine job in a very tough circumstance. It was also helpful that he had developed a very good relationship with my grandfather. My grandfather up untill the end was very active. It is sad but at that age many folks become more home bound. Thus the minister that is preaching the funeral has no clue about them. THis minister knew my grandfather well and in fact got teared up some. He was a comfort.

The military aspect of the funeral was very touching. The playing of taps, the folding of the flag and the presentation of the flag to my grandmother.

Afterwards we went to a family members beautiful new house he built just minutes away. This is where the Shepherd family reunion will take place in a couple of months. A reunion my grandfather so much wanted to attend. My Grandfather's nephew had a video of my Grnadfather playing where he was talking about his life. That was quite jarring to me to hear his voice and to be honest brought his death home to more than even seeing his body in the coffin.

I now shall try to put aside some worries I have had for a week or so. I am very concerned about my grandmother and what we shall do about that issue over the next few months. . My grandfather was also the "head of the Clan" in a very real vibrant way. I am remined we are much closer to the day when perhaps the extended family start seeing less and less of each other as their families extend out. That is sad.

On a personal level this funeral reminds me that I have some "emotional issues" to deal with. I think because of some things I have dealt with the last few years that I am much more guarded as to emotions and opening up to them. Almost like a defense mechanism. I am not entirely thrilled with that development in my life..

Anyway that is the overview. I suspect like most of my family his death will hit us more as the weeks go by.

One other thought. My Grandfather nephew had a huge collection of pictures and newspaper clippings about my Grandfather and his family. It really struck me again how the War has been a huge factor in that generation I notice that people of my grandparents age really are DOERS. They often like to go do things and live life. They are not often sit at home types or at least my family was not. I can't help but notice that there is a tad differnce in attitude between his children and then my generation. I do wonder again if that generation , which had death as a daily reminder for 4 long years, decided after it was over to really just live life with more gusto than perhaps some of us today.

Anyway that are my thoughts. Regular posting habits should get back to normal the next few days.

In the end I have been very blessed. I not only knew well all my grandparents but actually got meet and talk to all 4 great grandmothers and one great grandfather. My great grandmothers lived for many years of my young life. I think the other two great grandfathers actually got to see me as a baby. The key of my family is to keep my grandfather's memory very alive in the family as long as we can so it is passed down.